Are you ready, kids?
KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you!
Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
Ready?
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob... SquarePants! ♪
( Captain laughs heartily )
( plays airy tune )
( waves crashing, seagulls calling )
( knocking on door )
Mr. Krabs, some guy in a suit wants to come in before we open.
What? Guy in a suit?
No! It's a tax collector!
Hide us, SpongeBob!
KRABS ( muffled ): Now we'll walk nonchalantly to the rear exit.
He's got a card.
"R.A. PennyPincher Vending Supplies."
KRABS: What?!
My machine has arrived?!
Ooh, let him in, let him in, let him in!
Bring it in, boys.
That's it, set her down easy.
Here are the keys, Mr. Krabs.
Happy vending!
What is it?
Only the greatest moneymaker
since the Krabby Patty.
Gentlemen, meet "Skill Crane"!
( dazed ): Ooh... Skill Crane.
At a quarter a pop,
this thing will pay for itself in no time.
Which reminds me... step up, boys.
First one's free.
Thanks, Mr. Krabs.
No, thanks, I'll pass.
Come on, Squidward, you know you want to.
( sighing ): Okay.
If you insist.
Thanks.
Squidward!
In the machine!
All right, all right.
( in bored monotone ): Oh, boy, what fun.
SKILL CRANE: You lose!
Did you see that, SpongeBob?!
I almost got that on my first try!
My work here is done.
They don't call me
"Squidward Manual- Dexterity-Tentacles" for nothing.
( soft crackling )
Well, why don't I give it a try?
( laughing )
Good luck. You'll never...
SKILL CRANE: Winner!
( siren whoops )
It's a bear!
I'm going to call you Barry.
Hmm... beginner's luck.
Now it's the master's turn.
( crane whirring )
( buzzer sounds )
SKILL CRANE: Loser!
Wow, Squidward, you flipped him over!
That takes an awful amount of skill.
Well, thank you for saying so.
Barry says he's getting lonely.
Don't worry, Barry,
I'll get you a friend.
Ha! If you think
you're going to win that thing again...
SKILL CRANE: Winner!
( siren whoops )
There you go, Barry!
Oh, I loosened that one up for you.
You would have never won that without my skill.
Wow, thanks for your help, Squidward.
Hmm.
I bet I win at this thing the very next time I try.
Now, all I've got to do is...
At a quarter a pop,
this thing pays for itself in no time.
Ha! I'm not falling for that malarkey.
( quarters falling into machine )
( bell dinging, siren whooping )
Hey, Squidward.
( quarters falling into machine; Squidward groans )
Hey, Squidward.
( quarters falling into machine; Squidward groans )
( bell dinging )
Hey, Squidward.
( SpongeBob laughing )
SPONGEBOB: Okay, Mrs. Wiggles...
order up!
Barry cooked this one all by himself!
Oh, he makes me so proud.
( eerie, creaky voice ): Squid-ward?
( hook squeaking softly )
( eerie, creaky voice ): Squid-ward?
Oh, what the...?
All right, let's get this over with.
Need some change?
There you are.
Gee, thanks.
No, no, Mr. Squidward.
Thank you.
( crane whirring )
SKILL CRANE: You lose!
Need some more change?
( buzzer droning )
( beeping )
( buzzer droning )
( mechanical voice laughing )
( change jingling )
( buzzer droning )
SKILL CRANE: You lose!
Need some change?
No. Wh-Why?
( softly ): Because I'm all out of...
money!
All out of...
Hmm.
Boys, it's payday!
( gasps )
But Mr. Krabs, today is Monday.
Uh... no, it's payday, me boy.
Here's your check, SpongeBob.
♪ Money, money, money, money, money! ♪
I took the liberty
of turning your paycheck into quarters
just in case you want to, oh, I don't know,
do laundry or buy a soda
or... something. ( change jingling )
Very funny, Mr. Krabs!
If I can't win
one of those stupid things with this quarter,
I'm walking away.
Pardon me, Squidward, SpongeBear Junior here
wants me to win him a little brother.
SKILL CRANE: You are a winner!
Huh?
Two in one quarter?
That's not fair.
What's that, Clown Frown?
( horn tootling )
Oh, you'd rather sit next to Lovely Lion?
( crane whirring )
There you are, nice and cozy.
See you later, Squidward.
( Squidward sighs )
A little mind-numbing television
ought to help me forget about that stupid machine.
( mechanical laughter, buzzer from crane droning )
( screaming )
You've had a rough day, Squiddy,
but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better.
( mechanical laughter, buzzer from crane droning )
Oh... phooey!
( whimpers )
( teeth chattering )
Oh!
( crane whirring )
( buzzer drones )
I got to win that crane!
( yelps )
Just once!
Please, oh, please, let me win one time.
Squid, I think you have a problem.
No, he doesn't!
You don't listen to him, Squidward,
you keep playing until you win!
What's this?
The deed to my house.
Okeydokey, then.
Carry on.
( sobbing )
If I could just win once, l'd never play again!
( sobbing )
Hey, you want me to tell you the secret
of how to win on this machine?
SpongeBob, there's a secret?
Mm-hmm.
Tell me... the... secret.
Are you ready to be a winner?
Yes! Yeah?
Yes? Yeah!
Yes?
SpongeBob, the secret!
Okay, Squidward, okay!
l face the crane, deposit my quarter...
then I close my eyes.
Close your eyes?
Quiet, Squidward,
I'm being the crane.
Oh, that's ludi...
SKILL CRANE: Winner!
See? Now you try.
This is ridiculous.
If I close my eyes, how will I know where the...
Squidward, do you want to win or not?
Yes! Yes, I do!
Okay.
Squidward, put your quarter in.
But this is my last quarter.
In the machine, Squidward.
Okay, okay!
Close your eyes.
Now be the crane.
Be the crane.
SPONGEBOB: Be the crane.
SKILL CRANE: Winner!
( bell dings )
( whooping )
Yeah!
I knew I could do it!
( laughing )
I'm a winner!
You're a winner!
I am a winner, aren't I?
Winner, winner, winner!
Winner...!
I'm a winner, everybody!
You hear that?!
( cricket chirping )
( door crashes open )
I'm... a winner.
That's funny;
last I checked, you were a cashier.
Yuck it up all you want, Mr. Krabs, but just remember:
You're yucking in the presence of a winner!
Ha!
I'll try to remember that.
3,498 of Squidward's quarters,
3,499 of Squidward's quarters...
Triple-decker on deck.
Make way for the winner!
SKILL CRANE: You lose!
( sighs )
( softly ): You didn't win the prize?
No.
You know what that means?
No. What?
It means...
you have no skills and you're a loser!
Ha!
( cackling )
I'm a winner, see my prize.
You're a loser who sits and cries.
( cackling )
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Did you see how I handled that crane?
I sure did.
I think I have the magic touch.
Uh-huh.
I just closed my eyes
and became the crane.
( bored ): Oh, yeah, you're the man.
SpongeBob, look.
Uh, Squidward, I don't think the same principles apply.
Be the crane.
Wait, Squidward!
Be the crane.
He did it!
Yay, Squidward!
Be the crane, be the crane.
Be the crane...
You know this guy?
Yeah, that's Squidward.
He's got the magic touch.
Ding!
Ta-dah!
( screams )
Squidward, open your eyes!
Oh, uh... be the crane, be the crane.
Look out, SpongeBob, l can't stop!
Be the crane, be the crane!
Okay, don't be the crane, don't be the crane!
( Squidward screaming )
( all screaming )
( crashing )
What the...?!
Oh, my, oh, my.
Time to go, Teddy.
Just where do you think you're going, crane master?
You ain't going anywhere.
( whistling; crane chugging )
SPONGEBOB: Hang on, buddy!
I got you!
I guess I can only pick up toys.
( workers growling )
Uh-oh.